A Time When You Couldn’t Marry for Love!? The Love Rules of the Meiji Era

The concept of marriage in the Meiji era was completely different from today.
Nowadays, “love marriage” is the norm, but back then, parents and family decisions took priority, and love came second.

So, did love marriages not exist at all in the Meiji era?
In fact, this period was precisely when love marriages started to emerge.
With the influence of Western culture and the modernization of society, Japan’s views on love began to change.

In this article, we’ll dive deep into the love and marriage rules of the Meiji era and explore how love marriages came to be.
Let’s take a look at the history that led to the belief that “you should marry the one you love”!

Love Wasn’t Free!? Marriage Customs in the Meiji Era

Marriage in the Meiji era was nothing like it is today.
It wasn’t the result of romantic love but rather a decision made by families to strengthen ties between households.
Arranged marriages were the norm, and marrying for love was almost unheard of.
So, how was love perceived in this era?

Marriage Was Decided by Parents

In Japan at the time, marriage was not a personal matter but a crucial decision that impacted the entire family.
Especially in elite circles, family lineage and business continuity were prioritized, making marriage more of a “contract” than a union of love.
Parental choice dictated marriage partners, and the individuals involved had little say in the matter.
So, what kind of marriages were common during this time?

Marriage for the Sake of the Family

Marriages in the Meiji era were not based on love but on the need to sustain the family.
Parents chose spouses based on how well the match would benefit both families.
Marriage was expected to ensure financial and social stability rather than personal happiness.
Love was often seen as unnecessary when it came to choosing a spouse.

Family Connections Were More Important Than Love

Marriage was not just about uniting two individuals—it was about linking two families.
Especially among samurai and merchants, strategic marriages were common to protect wealth and social standing.
The feelings of the couple were secondary, as it was customary to marry whoever the parents had chosen.
Prioritizing love over family interests was often seen as selfish.

Was Love Forbidden? The Status of Love Marriages

Love marriages were not common in the Meiji era.
However, they were not entirely absent—some intellectuals and Western-influenced individuals began to advocate for them.
With the influx of Western culture, the value of marrying for love started to gain recognition.
Still, for most people, family interests came before personal emotions.

Were There Any Cases of Marrying for Love?

In rural areas, parental authority was absolute, and marrying for love was nearly impossible.
However, in urban settings, wealthy families sometimes allowed love marriages if the social standing matched.
Among intellectuals, Western ideas about romantic love influenced attitudes, leading some to support love-based unions.
Still, such cases were rare and not representative of the era as a whole.

Was Love Considered Unimportant?

Love was not considered a necessary factor in marriage during the Meiji era.
Instead, it was thought that affection should develop after marriage rather than before.
Romantic feelings were sometimes seen as distractions that could interfere with practical marriage arrangements.
Prioritizing love was often considered naive and impractical in this era.

The Shift in Romantic Views! The Love Revolution of the Meiji Era

As the Meiji era progressed, Japan’s views on love and marriage began to change.
With the influx of Western culture and the spread of education, the concept of “romantic love” started gaining recognition.
Marriage, which had traditionally been for the benefit of the family, slowly saw a shift towards valuing personal emotions.
However, love marriages were still far from being the norm.

The Influence of Western Culture and the Emergence of Love Marriages

As Western ideas entered Japan, they also influenced the perception of love and marriage.
Through literature and newspapers, the concept of romance became more widely known.
Unlike traditional views, there was a growing shift towards valuing personal emotions in marriage.

Literature and Newspapers Promoted the Value of Love

During the Meiji era, romance-themed novels and newspaper articles began to appear more frequently.
For young people, these were key influences that introduced new perspectives on love.

• Translated Western romance novels became popular in Japan
• Newspapers and magazines featured more articles on love and relationships
• Theater and kabuki performances about romance gained popularity

These media helped spread the idea that “marrying for love” was something to aspire to.

Romance Novels Became Popular

The literary world of the Meiji era saw an increase in romance-themed works, captivating many readers.
Young people in urban areas, in particular, found these stories relatable and started reevaluating their own views on love.

• Romance novels became bestsellers
• Young women began discussing love stories more openly
• Books that questioned the meaning of love became widely read

As a result, more people started dreaming of love marriages.

The Emergence of People Choosing Love Marriages

As time passed, more individuals began opting for love marriages.
However, love-based unions were still rare and faced numerous obstacles.
Despite the challenges, some courageous individuals pursued love over traditional arranged marriages.

Pioneers Who Chose Love Over Arranged Marriages

Some intellectuals and young people in urban areas rejected arranged marriages in favor of love.
In some cases, this led to conflicts with their families, but they remained determined to marry for love.

• Some families began to accept love marriages
• Some individuals defied their parents to pursue love
• The desire for love marriages grew among the younger generation

However, family influence was still strong, and not everyone had the freedom to choose love marriages.

Adapting to a Changing Era: New Marriage Styles

Some individuals found ways to blend traditional and modern approaches to marriage.
For example, some couples went through a formal matchmaking process to gain parental approval, despite having fallen in love beforehand.

• Couples staged formal matchmaking to gain family approval
• Love marriages were adapted to maintain family connections
• Married couples who chose love influenced societal norms

Through such compromises, love marriages slowly gained traction.

How Did Love Marriages Spread?

As the Meiji era progressed, love marriages gradually became more accepted.
The spread of education and the establishment of laws played a significant role in this shift.
As society evolved, so did the concept of marriage, allowing romantic relationships to be increasingly recognized.
What factors contributed to the wider acceptance of love marriages?

The Spread of Education and Freedom in Love

With the expansion of education, men and women had more opportunities to learn and interact with each other.
Unlike before, when parents arranged marriages, individuals began to develop their own ideas about marriage.
School education had a significant impact on people’s views on love and relationships.

Romantic Feelings Fostered in Boys’ and Girls’ Schools

During the Meiji era, girls’ education expanded, and many female schools were established.
This led to increased interactions between students of boys’ and girls’ schools, resulting in more romantic relationships.

• More exchange events between boys’ and girls’ schools
• Coeducational schools allowed natural interactions between men and women
• Educated women began to consider their marriage choices

These changes in the environment played a crucial role in promoting love marriages.

Intellectuals Leading the Expansion of Love Marriages

Among intellectuals, love marriages gradually gained recognition.
People who studied Western philosophy began advocating for the importance of choosing one’s spouse freely.

• People who had studied abroad spoke about the importance of love marriages
• Newspapers and literature began promoting the idea of love-based unions
• Marriages among intellectuals influenced the general public

As intellectuals led by example, the value of love marriages spread throughout society.

The Impact of Modernization on Marriage Laws

As Japan modernized, marriage laws also evolved.
With legal reforms and social advancements, love marriages became more feasible.
The focus shifted from family interests to individual choices.

Legal Reforms and the Recognition of Love Marriages

During the Meiji era, laws concerning marriage were established, gradually recognizing individual rights in marriage.
Previously, marriage was entirely dictated by family decisions, but new laws expanded personal freedoms in this area.

• Marriage laws were enacted, clarifying legal procedures
• The weakening of the family system allowed more individual choices
• Courts provided the option to annul unwanted marriages

These legal changes validated love marriages as a legitimate choice.

The Coexistence of Arranged and Love Marriages

By the late Meiji era, arranged and love marriages coexisted.
Although many marriages were still arranged by parents, more families started respecting their children’s choices.

• Arranged marriages with romantic elements became more common
• Families found ways to integrate love marriages into traditional structures
• A hybrid marriage system combining both love and arrangement emerged

Thus, traditional customs and new values blended, making love marriages increasingly common.

The Roots of Love Marriages That Continue Today! What Meiji-Era Romance Left Behind

The concept of love marriage that emerged in the Meiji era had a significant impact on Japan’s marriage traditions.
Through the Taisho and Showa periods, love marriages gradually became the norm, and today, they are considered the standard for marriage.
However, the path to making love marriage mainstream was not an easy one.
By understanding the history of love and marriage from the past, we can gain deeper insights into how modern romantic relationships have been shaped.

The Journey to Making Love Marriages the Norm

The idea of love marriage that emerged in the Meiji era was passed down through the following generations.
However, societal values did not change overnight, and it took time for love marriages to become widely accepted.
During the Taisho and Showa periods, the concept of marriage underwent significant transformations.
Let’s explore how marriage evolved over time and how love marriages gradually took root in Japan.

Changes in Romantic Views Through the Taisho and Showa Periods

In the Taisho period, the emphasis on individual freedom increased, and love marriages gradually became more common.
In urban areas, movies and novels depicting romance grew in popularity, influencing people’s perspectives on marriage.
However, in rural areas, parental authority remained strong, and love marriages were still considered unconventional.
The spread of love marriages was influenced by regional and societal factors.

• Romantic movies and novels became popular, increasing admiration for love
• Women gained more independence, broadening their marriage choices
• In cities, love marriages increased, with individual desires taking precedence over family ties

During the Showa era, war reinforced traditional family structures for a time, but after the war, love marriages spread rapidly.
During the post-war recovery, choosing one’s own marriage partner became the norm, and individual desires were prioritized over family decisions.

Differences Between Modern Values and the Meiji Era

Today, love marriage is standard, but in the Meiji era, it was a groundbreaking idea.
By comparing past and present values, we can see how views on marriage have drastically changed.
Particularly, as women’s social status evolved, so did perspectives on marriage and relationships.
Reflecting on how today’s romantic ideals were shaped can offer new insights into modern love.

• In the Meiji era, family wishes were prioritized, but today, individual choice is most important
• In the past, marriage was often followed by love, whereas today, love typically precedes marriage
• Women’s increased social participation has led to a diversification of marriage styles

Understanding these changes may help us see modern romance and marriage in a new light.

What Meiji-Era Romance Teaches Us Today

Looking at the history of romance from the Meiji era onward, we see that the structure and values of marriage have evolved over time.
However, the importance of nurturing love may be a timeless theme that transcends generations.
By reconsidering the relationship between love and marriage, we can establish more fulfilling partnerships today.
Let’s explore the lessons we can learn from the past.

Rethinking the Connection Between Love and Marriage

In modern times, love and marriage are deeply intertwined, but in the Meiji era, the idea of “building love after marriage” was more common.
Viewing marriage from this perspective may offer a fresh way of thinking about long-term relationships.
What we value in marriage has changed over time, but at its core, mutual respect and commitment remain essential.

• Prioritizing compatibility beyond romantic attraction
• Accepting differences while building a strong relationship
• Making continuous efforts to deepen love after marriage

Now that love marriages have become the norm, it is worth revisiting the essence of marriage itself.

Learning from the Past: Building a Happy Partnership

Although love has become more freely expressed today, maintaining a long-lasting relationship still requires effort.
Understanding the struggles and values of past generations may provide useful insights into building fulfilling relationships today.
Love may now be a matter of personal freedom, but respect and trust remain fundamental to any successful relationship.

• Mutual respect and support are crucial in any era
• Adapting to changes while maintaining a strong bond leads to happiness
• Knowing the history of love helps us appreciate and strengthen our own relationships

By looking back at history, we may find new ways to think about love and marriage in the present day.

Conclusion

Looking back at how the concept of marriage has evolved from the Meiji era to the present day, we can truly appreciate the long journey that led to love marriage becoming the norm.
The spread of love marriages was driven by the expansion of education, modernization, and the growing emphasis on individual freedom.
However, one thing that remains unchanged across all eras is that nurturing love and showing care for one’s partner are the keys to a happy relationship.

Understanding past views on love may offer new insights into how we approach relationships and marriage today.
What are your thoughts on Meiji-era romance? Share your opinions in the comments!